I Dont want to give up just yet...|Tuesday, April 11, 2006
yup!i noe i shud be mugging now. like...right now.but yeah. just wanna tell you all how exhilarated i am to hand up my last essay of the semester. it was great. but yeah. it wasnt a great essay. i didnt put much thought into it. and i noe tt if i had done so...life is going to be so much better. i mean..not life per se...but yeah. i could possibly get a better grade...and may be slightly happier later.sighz. yeah. i may be smiling. but nope. i m not that ok. but i m trying to be ok.trying my very best. and yes...i m feeling slightly better.i let out my thoughts and fears...and i realized...there is still hope. and yes. i m possibly just doing some wishful thinking..but i m not letting go just yet.i havent tried hard enough....i cant possibly let him go just yet...if i do...i m just...losing a battle i have not started to fight. there is still a tiny bit of hope.no matter how i try to erase him from my life...he is still my best friend. and he'll still be as great he was before as he is now as he will still be in future. and hopefully, with God's grace...if we are able to make it through...we will achieve the dreams we once had together...Insya'Allah.i noe i m appearing to accept now. but yeah. i m still putting up a fight. just as i fought dengue..just as i fought my family problems once upon a time...and just as i fought through other challenges in my life...i shall still fight this one through. at least if i lose the battle...i noe that i have tried. hard enough.i noe and believe strongly...there is this tiny ray of hope...and i shall grab it tight and use every inch of its lifespan...my dad told me...remember Laailaahailallah...yup. i will remember that...for life. i noe that once in a while...i would fall into relapses...i cant help it. he is everywhere...and to my friends...u guys are great...thank you guys...thank you so much.
* spoken&willspeakagain*
3:46 PM
