Me, MY NAME and I.|Monday, April 24, 2006
i m about to settle down now. as in...not to get married...but i reached home at about 9pm. bathe. had dinner. play2. and then now i m blogging. so that essentially means that i m only going to start or continue mugging later. comprehended (instead of understooded)?
anyway...i was stealing openly some of hafie's french fries just now before mahgrib when i suddenly realised that i was sitting beside Nad. and this random thought came to my mind...*before i continue..i NEED to thank naz for lending me his laptop so that i can blog my previous entry. he insisted that he be mentioned. so YES naz!*oh yes. so this random thought was...why do i feel like i m living a DUAL life, especially when different people call me different names? my family, relatives and 'loved one' call me "yanah" or "yan". and my crazy friends, especially, call me "maly" or "mal". if they ever happen to exchange roles one day...i bet you. i will get confused. sometimes i feel that...i behaved differently when i am called by different names. well...maybe because the nature of the people who call me. those who call me by 'yan' or 'yanah'...are normally people i have intimate relationships with. intimate in the sense that...we have blood ties or just have a different kind of affection. my behaviour towards them is different. my kind of funny is also different. i tend to think of them differently.i feel much more responsible for their well-being.but when pple call me 'maly' or 'mal', they are also a different bunch of pple. and my level of CRAZINESS is way higher. i feel for them, but on a different scale.i once read fadz's entry about 'being true to yourself'. hmmm...do different levels of 'being true to yourself' exist with the different names that people call you? maybe. possibly. but nah. personally, i dun think so. with each different person i m with...i think i am myself. nobody can take over my place at that point in time. yes i behave differently with different people. but i wud say tt...as long as i m COMFORTABLE behaving to them in a CERTAIN kind of way...I m true to myself.in every sense of the word.so if i ever visited nad's house one day...i may experience two names at a time. her family members will call me 'yan' and she is now more attuned to calling me 'maly'. but yeah. i m still malyanah. 'yan' 'yanah' 'mal' 'maly'...whatever derivations i come in. i am still 'ME'.and so today was a funny day! gosh. two already crazy people are really crazy. i swear they need medication. multiple strong dosages to be taken every hour and with additional mental therapy. md noor n ridhwan. they are the ultimate duo. md noor laughs and talks and sings to himself. just now, he was avidly listening to hafie's MP3 player...and was laughing to himself, listening to oasis interview (nonsense). ALL OF A SUDDEN,HE BURST OUT LAUGHING REALLY LOUD. the rest of us...laughed too. because he laughed so loudly that we found it funny and we didnt know what exactly he was laughing about. den...came the complement...ridhwan was so docile-ly and subconsciously HIGHLIGHTING his arm! using a green highlighter. u noe...like a mental patient who is drugged by medication and in a daze and looking so at peace...n when md noor let out the outburst, i bet ridhwan himself was shocked by his doing n tried to hide it. (guys...even as i was typing this, i m laughing to myself). then he tried to JUSTIFY his actions by saying..."its therapeutic what..."hehe! oh my goodness. these two pple. they are just so so...funny...sighz!the arts faculty is the coolest faculty to be in, in NUS. because of this kind of pple. i m serious. where else can you get a bunch of people, either sitting at the forum or at the library, and in either places still make noises and stupid remarks and still laughing and laughing...when it is exam period, with our millions of readings in front of our faces and tidbits all over the table? this is simply US.
* spoken&willspeakagain*
10:37 PM
