SMASHED. and thats the end.|Sunday, April 16, 2006
i was stupid. so stupid to try and patch my heart up. and i kept trying to mend things yet it is as if my heart is made up of porcelain. and it has smashed. into pieces. just like that. smashed into a thousand pieces. into a million pieces. into a billion pieces. smashed. smashed. smashed. smashed...till it is...un-mendable anymore...i was at the peak of my stupidity. the climax. the top. the pinnacle. and it has to happen at the same time. like last week. haha! maly maly...when will you ever learn that there is no such thing as hope, in this matter. i tried. email. msn. sms. hahahaha! imagine you have an audience and u are such a lousy performer and the audience throw its rotten eggs at you. yeah. rotten eggs thrown to me. millions of them. and the shells broke. smashed. like my heart. or actually...it smashed me heart. it smashed me heart. me heart.haha! here it goes."We are friends. other than that, there is nothing between us." (smashed)"You will wait because it has been two years...or because you love me and want me to care for you for the rest of your life?" -
"Both." (smashed)"You can msg me like before." -
"will you reply me like before?" -
"Depends. Because your msgs are no longer my priority." (smashed)"ok...i seek you forgive me for all that i have done. i have tried. but you're still adamant with your decision. I pray you happiness." -
"Ok. No prob." (smashed)what else can i say. other than i m so stupid. so so stupid to even have thought of trying. to my family and my friends out there...you are going to see a different me. i'll still be like before. but i will be different. i love people who love me well. and to you all too...in whatever relationships we have...we must be sincere. and we must try OUR VERY BEST...to not hurt anyone. anyone at all. because the pain is not a nice feeling.... really. nothing is permanent, my dearests....i dun want to see any of you get hurt. and i will do my best to not hurt you people in any slightest ways at all...and yes. forgive. forgive sincerely. i m reminding myself.
* spoken&willspeakagain*
5:15 PM
