Complaining|Wednesday, May 10, 2006
i just reached home. had isyak and all. just wanna say a few things before hitting my bed.i think complaining is a great thing. realli. but of course. not if you are the listener. then complaining is a pain in the ass. but yeah. complaining can be therapeutic. and tts what blogs are for. you can complain all you want. and you noe pple read your blog. they know that you are indeed complaining. but yeah. somehow...you dont simply want to care. because...you would not get to hear their painful comments on how dreadful ur complains are....AND SERIOUSLY. THAT IS A BLESSING.sometimes i wish...planning out my life is as easy as planning an event. you know. where you can set timelines and deadlines for yourself...if you keep to it, you are safe. and if you can't keep to it, you can always set plan A,B,C,D,E,F... and u noe. you are prepared. and somehow...you wont procrastinate because you have a VISIBLE plan in front of you. and you can trace where you went wrong and you can know you can achieve good stuffs when you keep to the calendar that you set for yourself.but when dealing with life...how often do we keep to the timelines and deadlines that we make for ourselves? i keep telling myself...to do this particular one thing. that is to teach my bro. to teach him the right method of mugg. to clear concepts. but sighz. in the end, i ended up telling and pestering him to go to his teachers instead. i cant trust myself to teach sec sch math anymore. and back then, i did and master several chapters and totally ignore the rest...like permutations. ergh.i hate that. and SETs. sighz. and the SCIENCES!gosh. i totally forgot what it means to reduce and oxidise. and watever stuff we need to remember from the PERIODIC TABLE. sighz. but somehow...another voice in me tells me that i shud try teaching him a bit of math. but sighz. i can teach cousins. i can teach other strangers. but when come to teaching my siblings...i get easily agitated. its like...i dunno how to explain it.
maybe its because...i always haf this thought that they must try n fend for themselves. like how i did. and effort must come from within them. n not me scolding them or nagging at them for not mugging. sighz. am i wrong to do this, to behave like this? i dunno. i m seriously worried. i dunno how to help my bro. and i dunno how to tell my parents that each child is different. and i dunno how to encourage my bro and make sure he haf goals in life. i just do not know what to do.or maybe. i actually do...but scared to do it...
* spoken&willspeakagain*
12:36 AM
