|Friday, July 21, 2006
bismillahirrahmanirrahim.
assalamualaikum.
buat sahabat yang ku kasihi.
sometimes in life we are faced with many kinds of fear. and i think now i am in fear.i think i fear losing. not the 'not winning' kind of losing. more of...'losing a thing' kind of losing. seriously.i think i remembered one thing. i remembered there was this one time i mentioned that...i am very attached to my relationships. all kinds of relationships, that is. i love my workplace. i feel the difference when my colleague didnt come...or i didnt get to talk to my boss...etc.i love my schools. and i feel immense attachments to my malay teachers, especially. be it pri school or sec sch or jc. i'll put on my widest smile and become so kecoh. and everytime i walked through the nicks and corners of my schools...i make sure replay all the memories that my mind and soul have retained in their capacity.i treasure my friendships dearly. their happiness is mine.i remembered the day nurie left for canada...i teared because i know i am going to miss her dearly.she is this small gal with a heart and a bravery so big. i remembered during camp Reperio when i saw shafa's brother. i really miss her...and how i miss the robin hood/k2p guys and their endless nonsense...and...all these are friendships which i savour so much.
and i fear...losing the friendship i have built with you.i remembered we met in the library. you with your striking yellow jacket and your cap. u and your group of guy friends who were so crazy. i remembered the day the group challenged each other to do math. it was some speed and velocity emath sum. haha! everybody got different answers and we did was...to laugh it off. i cant remember if we ever did get the answer though.and then i remembered the time there was only the two of us and we ate at burger king. i ordered the food and u sat down waiting. n when we ate...urs was messy. haha!and i noe how much u hated biology to the core. and how u hardly bother to comb ur hair. and of course. the surprise birthday thing i had at macdonalds. eminence brought me to macs n u guys bought me a cake. haha! i noe u guys love nicholas sparks. n that was when i learn to love his books too. till now.and all this was in...secondary 3 and 4. i miss those days. the library gang i wud call it. the woodlands lbry gang.*it is so painful for me to recount all these things. but it is so so healing at the same time. and i smile and chuckle to myself each time i look back at these things...those times were all so funny!*
and then...we each went to jc....all different JCs...but we kept in touch. though not as close...we would still remember the stupid things that happened before. and together we would laugh at them....and then somehow we grew closer. we met at bus stops. we baked cookies for each other. i gave u macroons and that time u had braces.well...the macroons were soft enough for you. and your cookies, u used lots of vanilla essense. and yes!u baked me croissants. haha! u taught me maths for my a-levels. i noe at times u feel like killing me because i simply cant get the MATH jargon. remember the time we studied at vista point before our a-level math paper? u were so sick and i kept making u sicker by insisting that my careless mistake was simply the correct answer. hehe!n u visited me in the hospital when i got dengue. and u bought me big sunflowers. and u accompanied me to the x-ray room. and i was on the wheelchair. haha! the nurses insisted that i sit down on the wheelchair because they think i was so weak. u were there for me. the whole time i was there. asking me to drink lots of water. and i noe i slept alot seh during that time. felt so tired n drowsy that the minute after i woke up and bathed in the morning...i ate the hospital bfast and slept again. n i remembered another thing...the doctor was trying to take a sample of my blood again (after many times in the week) and u kept talking to me to distract me from the doctor and his evil-doing. and then there was this another time when...i went back to sch after discharged from hospital. due to the medicine..my head felt so painful dat after holding on till the last class of the day..i called u up. den u told me to wait n u came from ur sch to fetch n send me home. i slept the whole journey back home...and you were there by me.the story does not end here. and i pray that these little friendship stories...will never end at all. i kept telling myself that i can let go of you. but i realise. i can never do that.
u have painted the nice roses in my life. and i am not going to let them wither. because when they wither...they take everything else with them. the beauty that they colour with their petals...the sweet-smelling scent that they exude....the honey that the bees n butterflies feed on...and i think...because u have planted so deeply in me...these beautiful roses in my life...i kept reminiscing those moments when we were in that friendship...unconsciously...i kept seeing things that were so...'you'.n the radio stations played the songs u like. and everything seems to be so...'you'. i am sorry. sorry if ever i have broken your heart and mind so much. your friendship means a lot to me. and anyone else's friendship. maybe...i may be just another passing moment in your life...Alhamdulillah...our paths have crossed. and i thank God for allowing me to be a friend of yours and let me feel all those beautiful roses...and whatever you have taught to me...and whatever i have learnt from you...i promise i will make good use of it... kau tetap sahabat karibku yang amat ku kasihi...yang akan ku doakan selalu...yang benar,
yanah
* spoken&willspeakagain*
9:39 PM
