i do not know what to feel now..what kinda feeling that i am feeling right now. u get it? i seriously cant pinpoint the exact feeling. or maybe...i just do not know how to feel.

maybe i am happy. no no. maybe not that kind of delighted happy. i think it is more of...satisfied happy. and i think...this satisfied happy thing..is different from contented happy. it is notches lower than contented happy...sighz. *rereading this para again*...what in the world am i saying...

just as i am writing this entry...i feel uncertain all over again. my heart felt all heavy and uncertain. am uncertain why i am feeling this way.

Reperio FOC had just finished yesterday. gone a while are the days where i can think nothing else but whether FOC will run well. u noe something...possibly...i really cant tell if if the camp went well or not. i received both good and bad feedbacks and both were equally quite weighty. but more interestingly...on my journey to school today to settle some urgent matters...it suddenly come across my mind that...the camp was a feedback on me. yup. u read it right. it was a feedback to me on me. people around...kept asking me to smile. and i tot...'haven i did just that?'....and a few minutes later pple will ask....'hey...you look stressed'....and i tot....'huh?' because i feel nothing about the camp. i dun feel stressed by it. frankli...all i wanted was all to go well because i know that glitches may happen and that all problems can actually be solved. and so i tot...it cudnt be that i looked stressed. i realised that i am serious. and a freshie told me that i can be fierce. wow. i guess...long gone were the days when i tot i cant even scold pple for nuts. once...my parents made a slipping remark. "maybe he didnt talk to you because u look so serious." gosh. and now i m Miss Serious.

where was my craziness. the typical 'highness' i usually feel.

i feel like....living elsewhere where pple do not know me so that i can no longer be the Malyanah i am but a new one instead.

gosh. lots of depressing posts lately. but hey. its my blog. and this is my mouth piece.

hahahaha! dun wory i m moving on. i m just wishing that...i can go 100kmph faster.

anyways....camp REPERIO..i wanna say lots of thanks to everyone. i m tired now so i dare not do personal thank u's. or else i may miss pple. i shal talk again abt reperio soon...for now...

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