that i never loved.|Monday, July 03, 2006
i noe.
that probably pple see me moving.
that probably pple see me going. on.
before this, i have never been in a relationship before.
u noe. that thing that they say...the one you fall in love with a guy if you are a gal.
and so i went into one.
thinking that it would be able to last because...i believe so much in it. and i believe that we believe so much in it.i thought we both cared. i thought things have been going on so well despite the rare times we meet because of each of our busy schedules. and so i thought...though i do have my desperate moments to meet and all...that we must go through these tough times simply because...i noe there would be more challenges for us...in times to come. if we cant stand it now...what happens if the bigger things come alive?
and so i thought.
now that we are both apart, i rethink again.there are signs that this will come.i chose to ignore. because...i believe. forgotten dates...reluctant phonecalls...what else.
and now my heart is sore. its been torn apart,patched up again...and yet torn apart again. and yes. it hurts.
u guys make think that i am doing well. well. yeah.
yeah right.
i once read a friend's post. she said she went through her break-up alone. i think i noe how she feels.
the feelings in me are churned out by force. the WILL to forget. to forget that this has ever happened. he has never entered my life. he has never promised to be there all the time for me. he has never lied that he believes in it as much as i do. the sweet memories have all turned sour. and i pray that time pass by so so fast that...i would never remember.
the tears have frozen in me. and i am waiting for the perfect day to melt it. and let it out again.
so that...i will be emptied.
emptied of the ideals that i once formed.
Please God...let me forget. and tell me...that i will be alright...
* spoken&willspeakagain*
8:10 AM
