Oh well! I am supposed to start on my EN3227 romanticism readings. I just read that they are doing a total of 7 authors! Of which four are POETS! And…I just remembered how bad I was at poetry reading and the only thing I was good at was to identify the rhyming scheme…if it is a verse poem in the first place. And thus I really need to look back at my JC notes. The ones I managed to scribble down during whitby’s practical criticism classes. Ergh. Haha! But he was a nice teacher. Cranky. But he can really teach. I love his sarcasm. Sometimes they were just so good we did not even get them. And not to forget, he was so dramatic. Lovely. Haha!
And yeah. Before I hit the books…this morning, I went for kuliah dhuha. Ustaz syafi was talking about how we can really confirm whether a person is really dead. So he showed us pictures of a corpse. The face will bloat abit. The nose will loosen and droop. The eyes, when closed, will look stretched to the sides of the head. The body temperature will decrease tremendously. Those were the technicalities.
There was this one other thing that really touched me. He then showed us a snippet of IMAN, which was an Indonesian sinetron. It starred Tamara, the famous actress who famed IKHLAS and HIKMAH….and so I deduced that IMAN is somehow related to the two other sinetrons. Anyway…Ustaz showed us the part where a group of men were carrying the jenazah in a keranda, along with an ustaz and Tamara (wife of the dead) and her mother. While they were carrying the keranda to the grave, suddenly it rained so heavily with lightning and thunder. The corpse suddenly became so so heavy that the men could not carry it properly. When they reached the grave, the grave was filled to the brim with water, no matter how they tried to bail the water out, it was to no avail. The prophet Muhammad s.a.w. did mention that it is always best for any dead bodies be buried as soon as possible. And so the men tried to lower the body into the grave. Very shockingly, the body suddenly became too light to be submerged under water! Basically it was floating on the water. Until Tamara said a prayer…the body managed to be lowered into the grave safely.
While ustaz was trying to highlight the various wrong methods of the people handling the dead body, what really tugged the strings of my heart was the fact that the earth rejected the corpse. Can u imagine…the fact that you must have done so many bad things that even the earth does not want to have you when you die? You are just…nowhere. The world hates you when you are alive. And now that you are dead, it hates you still. I find it scary.
I really feel that if you really want to be a humble person and you really want to make sure that you are not too caught up in worldly desires and bad intentions…always think of where you come from and where you will end up in.
Through God’s wishes and capabilities, I came into this world. I did not come on my own. I had to LEARN to SPEAK. I had to LEARN to WALK. I did not grow up strong. I was helpless. And still am.
And then I visualize myself on my deathbed. What kind of death I want. I do not want my body to be rejected by the earth. I do not want to die…lonely. I want my family and my close friends around me. Reading for me the prayers and the beautiful verses of Al-Quran. I want these readings to be so soothing that it can calm me down before I meet my Maker. I do not want people to cry so hard. In malay…it is ‘meratap’. I want them to allow me to go peacefully, praying that all will go well for me. I do not want people to beg for my forgiveness on my deathbed. Sighz. I want them to know that I never have held any grudges against them. Also…I hope that I receive good prayers. I hope I would not make enemies during my lifetime. Because if I do die, they may harm my family and I do not want that to happen. In my lifetime, I aim to protect people I love. And I hope, when I die…my death will protect them too. I pray that when I die, people will treat my dead body with respect. They will handle it the softest way as possible.
But all these death wishes of mine…it would not come easily. It does not happen automatically. It needs effort while I am alive.
How logical is it for me to expect people to treat my dead body well…when I do not respect them when I was alive?
A miserable thought to ponder.
Web Cam, Mic, Headphones
Black Jeans
A part-time job in a bookstore
Increase CAP!!
Honours
21st Birthday
New Zealand