this feels weird. one of those times i manage to blog at home. hehe! my neighbour has certainly been that generous to switch on his wireless for me to use. hehe!

well, i m now facing my lit notes. 'Preface to Lyrical Ballads' by William Wordsworth. haha! he does write pretty interesting stuff then. Poets at that time believe that they can change the WHOLE world, with their writings, with their views. and woah...pretty overwhelming. i wonder if there are among us..who can write as well. who really think that they can 'affect' the world just by writing.phew. who lives that 'writing passion' man... this thought has never occurred in my mind...but i wonder if one day i can publish my own book? seriously. i have never thought of becoming a writer. not in the very least. but i wonder...if i were to write a book...what shall i write about? hmm.i dont think i wanna write about my life. oh...this thought just zoomed in my mind. i would really LOVE to write a TRAVELOGUE. imagine...u travel...and then u write...u try to convey the fantastic images you see with your eyes by using mere words...and u try to illustrate your awe and excitement and sadness and anger through your writings. wow. that will be such an intense personal challenge. it is a challenge between trying to be as accurate as possible and knowing that you will never get to write as accurately as you feel.

oh well. you know. i think i am slowly living my dream of having a library of my own in my own house when i am married later. *gosh. maly dreaming of the uncertain future* haha! *smiles* but seriously. imagine after hard day's work in school teaching all those kids lit....and finally returning home to attend to your husband and kids and after all that is done....you go into your study room and woah...the feeling is wonderful ah! the knowledge that physically surrounds you...the thoughts and feelings and emotions and perspectives and the hearts...of the learneds...
haha! sighz. i hope i get a life partner who appreciates my 'library dream' *hahahaha!*
talking abt books...i still have not spent the 25bucks kinokuniya voucher the nus peeps got for me. hey. it is a gift. i sure need to think through and get a really really good book....

oh yes and one more thing.sometimes i feel hurt by things that some people do. yes i know that they are outspoken ah! and of course. i should respect their personalities. and yes. i do know that God gives you the free will to think your own thoughts and speak your own voice...but i do sometimes wish that those thoughts and voices are emptied of the intentions to hurt. i respect you making comparisons. but then again, making comparisons can hurt unintentionally.
*yeah i know. i am talking in large circles.so that i wont hurt. unintentionally.*

and yeah! i m looking forward to going to school. prepared. *haha!*
sigh. i dunno wat has gotten into me.
i think i am feeling a little bit mix-up inside. i think i am happy. but i tend to tear a little bit too easily these days. i do not know if that is okay.
and also...i do not know how the rest of my friends are feeling. especially those who have lost their loved ones. i hope that they are well...hey mukmin...i haven seen u in a while. i hope you are doing all right k. hope the incoming Ramadan is making people slightly happier.

you know what...I cleaned up the house today. i wiped the windows with some glass detergent thingy. and yep. the house is sparkling...no...not the house. the windows of the house are sparkling shining. i hope that when my god-grandmother's and my paternal grandfather's spirits come visit during the month of Ramadan...they will feel happy and pray that my family will be blessed...insya'Allah...i miss nenek aliah...u noe...she used to call me 'yangyek'...*haha!* she took care of me when i was young. i am so so attached to her. and when she passed away, i didnt know because they could not contact me. i was shifting house and they didnt know my whereabouts. the house felt so different without her everytime i visited her home in Yishun...she was always smiling. she has nice dimples too. sigh. i almost forgot how she looked like...

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