|Monday, October 23, 2006
hi. yes.i am keeping this brief. haha! where have art gone my philosophical musings...seriously. i am so having a difficulty thinking of arguments for my literature essays. i think my mind has gone numb. like...it cannot conjure creative titles anymore, u know. ergh. i think it is because of this 'organisation streak' that i have to allow my brain and mind to go through. i mean...being in a society...you have to be organised. it is okay if you are the already-organised type. but if you have a brain and a mind like mine...it is sure CHALLENGING to entangle the webs. thus. your essays have to suffer with you having to depend on mediocre and unentertainting thesis statements. gosh. where have all the rigour in my mind gone to. it is not only abt heading a society, needing the organisational mind. it is also you being in THAT age, where you have to PLAN your LIFE. yeah. you heard me right. and how to be financially stable. and how to behave like a lady. sigh. i notice that everytime i want to behave like a GIRL..something at the back of my head tells me that i HAVE to behave like a LADY. wow. see. i am stepping into ADULTHOOD. and trust me. it is scary. i am so aware that my mind is numbing. that my brains are going to be so organised and would soon lose its CHILDHOOD/CHILDLIKE thoughts and imagination. ERGH! i cant appreciate cartoons that are not REALISTIC. i use to like and appreciate MICKEY MOUSE and SCOOBY DOO. but now i scorn at those cartoons i grew up with...simply because they do not have strains of REALISM in them! i hate growing up. i really do. and now that it is Raya...bet you. my parents' friends will say..."nanti kalau anaknye kahwin, jangan luper jemput!" and i am at my parents' side...smiling sheepishly....squirming. and my heart whispers... GOSH. AM I REALLY THAT OLD? oh well! i am turning 21. SERIOUS. According to the ISLAMIC CALENDAR... I was born on 4 SYAWAL 1406. and on 4 SYAWAL 1427...I am rightfully 21. OH NO!!!........haha! sighz.i am full of angst. that i feel like punching something. or somebody. ERRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHH. and yup. takkan lupa....SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI!!! enjoy while you can. because once you reach ADULTHOOD...trust me. HARI RAYA is just WAYYYYYYYYYYYYY different.
* spoken&willspeakagain*
3:54 PM
