|Tuesday, November 07, 2006
sighz. i really started my day today on quite a bad note. but thank god my lessons are starting soon and i can then focus my mental energies on things that are certainly more useful. sighz. money money money. one reasonable reason why i do want to leave the university very soon is, of course, financial matters. if there are many counsellors out there who explain that money is the root of almost all marital problems, it sure is, i tell you. not exactly marital for me. but it sure does make life a lot more inconvenient. especially when you need the cash for necessities like the SO-EXPENSIVE transport...and the SO-FREQUENT cash card top-ups...and...yeah. thats basically where my money goes to each month. i hardly shop. and i have drastically cut down on "what-i-deem-as-useful" stationery. and clothes? i bought nothing and wear almost nothing else except for whatever that is existent in my cupboard for the past year. and they are usually bought by my mum. the new stuffs in my cupboard are my 2 new traditional baju kurungs and one kebaya. *god knows when i wud wear them*. movies? i usually watch them two years later when Channel 5 decided to air them on national TV. i am complaining right here. *and of course i know i should not be doing this but i have to because i am stifling to restrain myself from crying and screaming vulgarities off my lungs. i know i hardly curse and usually swallow but this occasion acounts for that.* phew. and that was a whole lot of things off my chest. yes i know i am on a teaching award and all. but gosh. ifyouwanttousemymoneyiwudappreciateitsomuchthatyoutellmewhereexactlyitwentto!!!sigh!!!itreallydoesnthelpthatwhateveryougivemeeachmonthyouaskforhalfofitbackattheendofthemonth.sighz. ergh.i NEED to save. i need the money for my ACEH trip.i need to save for my SEP which i really really want to go for (insya'Allah...i really hope that and pray that tiada aral yang melintang...if it is only for the intention of goodness...i really hope God shine the right path for me).i need to save for the future. *not only for marriage lah! also for my brothers who would need immense expenditure, the elder one for his tertiary education (jc/poly) and the youngest with his primary education (not that he would need much!)*......but my dad has about a few more years in the army...at most he would stay in the army would be for another ten years. and that is not a long time,babe. especially with transportation costs increasing by the minute and the govt keep saying that the costs are still relatively lower than most countries. but then again. you would first need $$ to start saving. how to start when you have none in the first place? thanks.
sighz. i am feeling so wicked right now. the kinder side of me keep saying..."hey...money is not everything. you should just niat 'derma' everytime these things happen." yeah. try doing this for the past years. *and i tell you.i am far from exaggerating.*problems can be prevented. with careful planning. i hate regretting things that i have not placed an effort in preventing. *geddit?* lets not create more problems, man. WAKE UP UR idea, lah! how how how? i m so frustrated. but really my double keeps telling me to be patient and let go of material possessions. sighz. when would i reach the stage when material possessions will matter no more? ... i hope i'll reach that soon. ergh. i was about to talk about the qualities of an ideal husband for me. but haha! i shall save it for later. now i need to study for my test tomr. thanks for reading my rantings. it is as close i can get to talking.
* spoken&willspeakagain*
10:42 AM
