Dismal results this time.
It is the worst I guess. And I hope ever will be.
I cant say so much about it because I think there is nothing much for me to say.
Oh well. Let me just do what I preach.
“the only possible way if UP, after every downfall.”
Now tell me again. Is whatever I am doing right now…worth it? Maybe I cant see it now. Maybe I will see it later. I hope so. And I pray for things to turn out well. God-willing.
I am writing in sparse sentences. In fragments of phrases. Reflective of my mind. and my heart. Too many things to think about. or …should I just think again if I should think and feel so strong and hard? Should I even bother? Oh boy. Just my luck that my mind happened to be tired. And dampened.
Nowadays, I look forward to sleeping. It just feels so good to just lie on your bed. In the darkness, except for streaks of light from the moonlight coming in at the window. And then you just close your eyes. I could not even finish saying my prayers…and there I am…lost in the depths of fathomless slumber. *my….i realize that I am writing descriptively. Why did I even bother…* because your thoughts are temporarily dissolved. They just suddenly disappeared, as fast as your eyelids shut. Tell me again…how wonderful is that?
All in all. while we are now slowly stepping forth into YEAR 2007…let me just wave a dismal goodbye to YEAR 2006. 2006, like I said before, has been a tired and tried year. it sure did place my brain and my heart in boiling water. I am not sure if my brain and heart have emerged at all tougher. Possibly, they did. And I hope, they do.
I am disappointed with year 2006. but I am not at all disheartened. Because I am determined to make 2007 a much better year. a year…in which I emerge victorious, and a much happier person. for this time, I want to make sure that I am smiling because I want to. Not because I have to…
And to you…my heart was sore a few months ago. I gave you my heart when it was at its warmest, most sincere and most naïve. But I guess, it is now skeptical. Suspicious. It dares not dream of possibilities. For each time it knows that Love is coming its way, it just have to think so much about it. It just has to worry so much. To make sure that it would not be hurt again. For now, its door is only partly open to Love. I may sound cruel. But I just cant live with a heart that is hurt. Now that it is healing…please help it to heal faster. I hardly think of US anymore. And you can trust me this time.
Love life? Oh well, I think Allah swt knows better. I leave it all to Him. sekiranya ada hikmah di sebalik semua ini, aku hanya bermohon agar hatiku akan tegar bersamaMu, Ya Allah.
Btw, I am back from KL. It has been a FABULOUS shopping
New Year Resolutions?? Maybe. There are things that I would want to make sure I achieve.
Web Cam, Mic, Headphones
Black Jeans
A part-time job in a bookstore
Increase CAP!!
Honours
21st Birthday
New Zealand