|Thursday, December 14, 2006


On Tuesday, I spent almost half a day in school. I arrived in school for a meeting with OSA regarding malay/muslim MPs and undergrads dialogue session. Then I had the inaugural PBMUKS charity golf meeting. Then I had emails to compose and reply to. Sighz. And I still have yet to carefully plan my SEP study plan. Subhanallah! I need to gather mental strength, and focus, dear God. Then I went home, stopping by at causeway point first to meet mum and did a little girl-shopping for a while. Went to eat dinner with her too and later reached home, gallantly, at 9pm. I cannot stand the humongous pile of unfolded clothes and therefore set my heart and soul to meticulously and slowly fold all of them, in between midst of watching CSI Miami. Due to the ever-so-regular rain each evening here in marsiling, lots of clothes are being stranded in the kitchen balcony to be dried by natural wind or artificial fan-air.

I am looking forward to tomr. Morning is my tripartite date with Zah2 and Kamie. Morning trek at MacRitchie Reservoir and the Tree Top trail. Insya’Allah. I hope to prepare for the Ledang trip this coming Friday till Monday. Sigh. U noe something? I am actually quite anxious actually. No…not ‘quite’. ‘very’ anxious actually. Simply because this is going to be my maiden trip up there, to Gunung Ledang….and even as I am speaking of it now, and writing my feelings down, I can feel my heart thumping against my chest. And going there as a ‘fresh’ faci is…a challenge. Gosh. I do need to make sure that I can mentally visualize what I am going to be facing there. This feeling is like….the feeling I got before I went to aceh last year. But at least, there I know the people I am working with because we planned the trip together. But now, the only people I know would be nurul, harun and kak yati. I know that I should be confident and comfortable with them. But it is not really about them. It is about…me knowing and working with the rest of the team. Haha! I know I can do it but it is making me shiver all the same.sighz!

A new and unexpected experience is sure a sweatful thing huh?

But you know what? I pray to God that I will gain something fruitful from the trip. I hope it will give me space and time to reflect on my life. On my relationships with the people around me, with the people I love. On my purposes in the world, be it my ultimate ambition to be a great teacher to my students, my desire to help my community, my current goal to achieve a second-class upper honours degree, my immediate want to be able to go on SEP. most importantly, I want the time and space to reflect on me being a daughter to my parents *hopefully, I can gain insight on how to be a better one, a more loving, caring and selfless*, a sister to my brothers and of course, my future as a lady, a wife and a mother myself. Most ultimately… I hope Allah s.w.t. will be able to lead my hand…my heart…and my mind along the journey…to be nearer to Him.

“Ya Allah…sesungguhnya aku bermohon kepadaMu agar Engkau bantulah aku dalam urusan duniaku…rahmatilah niat baik ku…dan hindari lah aku daripada benda-benda yang Engkau keji. Ya Allah…pimpinlah hati dan mindaku ke jalan yang diredhaiMu…kerana Engkaulah Maha Bijaksana. Aku bermohon agar Engkau peliharalah kedua ibu bapaku, dampingilah mereka dalam setiap masa, Ya Allah…kerana aku amat menyayangi mereka berdua. Terangilah hati dan fikiran adik-adikku…dan jadikanlah mereka insan yang berguna dan pemimpin keluarga dan masyarakat yang baik. Ya Allah, aku juga bermohon……….

Amin ….amin Ya Rabbal Al-Amin….”


* spoken&willspeakagain*
10:09 PM

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