Now in my room. I turned to my left and I saw a whole stack of lit books that are to be read this year. and of course. My fast-running-out-pocket-money placed me in a position where I have yet to buy a few more books. Hahaha! I am slowly and painfully building my home library. Wah..can you imagine a room, for against the walls will it be covered with wooden English bookshelves, and filled with books of all kinds? Beautiful, isn’t it? Maroon carpet sprawled on the floor, and a big comfy armchair with a leg rest. Family pictures on the walls, graduation certificates hung up proudly. And a wooden coffee table by its side. A room filled with therapeutic green apple or vanilla essence…with a jar of delicious cookies within reach…wow…a perfect retirement getaway. And in my old age, I’ll have all my grandchildren around me, listening to me tell stories. And when they reach teenage years, they’ll read my books…and the toddlers will eat my cookies, and my children and sons and daughters-in-law will just stand and smile knowingly by the door, leaving me alone, enjoying the company of their kids…and my husband, knowing how much I love reading and children, will allow me to have that few hours in a day, just for this moment.

Can you picture it? It sounds and looks…so perfect, right? It is so beautiful. Masya’allah…

**** Dear You,
You called me up in the middle of the night. Memories of old crept back into my mind…then, you and I know that that is the only time we could talk of anything at all, with no one listening to us… and only our voices filled the silent air of the night. Two nights ago, you brought back all these memories to me. But why… my feelings were jaded and stoned. But the every minute we talked, melted my heart painfully. No…do not get me wrong, my heart is not opened. It is just softened. Only slightly. I hope God will shine light onto you. And onto me. But not us. I think it is just a womanly thing… more sensitive. More sympathetic. The tears a woman shed each night is emblematic of her strength…not the least of her weakness. ****

Ya Allah…Engkau pimpinlah hati dan fikiranku. Amin.

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