ONE MALY CLAP - *CLAP* wtv.|Thursday, June 07, 2007
kan kan kan... tadi pagi macam banyak sangat nak tulis. semangat berkobar-kobar.tapi sekarang...the fatigue has set in and i am just so tired. i almost gave up staying awake at work just now. i am really serious. i was typing and typing welfare records and my eyes started to flutter and my eyesight started to blur and i started to yawn and no matter how i persevered to yawn as daintily as i could...haha! i think i just didnt try hard enough. i looked awful at work. but of course. the string of SMSs was helpful. and intriguing. and made me 'tersengih' in the midst of my sleepiness. so yeah. made me look like Sleeping Beauty. hahahahaha! okok. i am spouting nonsense.anyways. i wont say how good perkampungan bahasa was. or what can be improved. important stuffs these things are. but not as important as these other snippets that i hope i can engrave somewhere.-the kids taught me more things than what they were supposed to learn from me. -on the first day, one girl came up to me and asked, 'kak maly. later can you teach me how to take wuduk?this is my first time. i haven't done it before.but i would like to try...' and later she was having difficulty putting on the telekung also. but she was happy.and i think she is glad she tried.-this another kid...he kept calling me "cikgu! cikgu!". on other blur or tired days, he forgot my name and called me 'kak myla' instead of 'kak maly'. haha! and so the story goes...that fright night, he could not do the night walk. i think he did try.but he was too scared. i saw that he did try to push himself. at the end of the nightwalk, he came up to me and said..."cikgu...sorry ah cikgu...saya dah cuba dah...tapi saya..." and he looked down. i asked him what was he saying sorry for..."saya tgk cikgu mcm disappointed...". and you know what....i think i should have been the one to say sorry. after the nightwalk, i felt both angry and guilty. angry because to an extent, the kids were not pushing themselves enough. guilty because to another extent, i dont think i succeeded in making them feel that they actually CAN do it. -and also during fright night, i felt a strong blow. u noe why? my whole team backed out. 80% had tears welled up in their eyes.they literally froze after at the first station. i dunno if i did handle the situation well. but all i can say is this...that i am very very satisfied to see my team stand up again, literally one by one...trying to push themselves to try another station. wah. that night was memorable ah. even though it was just a short while that they remained 'brave'.-that night walk night was great you noe. i learnt alot on my own. and i learnt alot from nidzam. and how he took more than 15 minutes to calm two of my kids from crying. that was an experience ah. this one girl kept saying that she kept seeing the ghost's face in her mind and the ghost's screams. it was not easy seh. serious.- another thing, the girls in my group were quite forthcoming. as in, dorang tak segan silu u noe...one of them chatted w me as if i have known her for long. telling me that she once pernah 'main baju' and stuff. but she left the group coz of certain reasons etc...even within my team, there were cliques. budak ni tak suka budak tu. ada kes 'hang2' and 'stare2' just on the first day and all... waduh. my first day was a very trying day. -oh yes. and besides the games...let me quote this from Cikgu Karmin. "puisi tak susah. puisi bukan pasal cinta sahaja. kalau nak tulis puisi, tulis pasal pengalaman-pengalaman awak..." and in my mind, i was talking to myself...."cikgu..tapi cinta tu kan suatu pengalaman jugak..." and so i conclude.. that you can still write LOVE POETRY without feeling guilty. *smilesmile*-and yes. children are human beings too. they can get worried. flustered. unwanted. if they are not chosen to do certain things like performances etc. one of my boys was not picked for a performance. and u can see the way he reacts. he gets tensed up. he looked like he was really very disappointed. :(the list can really continue you know. and i love the camp. though they should have better language hardware, i had some other moments i like. and the camp has been MORE than meaningful...alhamdulillah. to those of you who were involved in PB, kudos to you. hats off to you. also...i am sleepy. and would like to dedicate this song to a person who would dedicate this song to me.Seribu TahunRela ku menunggu mu seribu tahun lama lagiTapi benar kah hidup ku kan selama iniBiar berputar utara selatanKu tak putus harapanSedia setiaRela ku mengejar mu seribu batu jauh lagiTapi benar kah kaki ku kan tahan sepanjang jalan iniBiar membisu burung bersiulanTenang lah gelombang lautanKu masih setiaAda kah engkau yakin ini cintaAda kah engkau pasti ini tuk selama lama nyaRela ku menunggu mu seribu tahun lama lagiTapi benar kah hidup ku kan selama iniBiar berputar utara selatanKu tak putus harapanSedia setia
buat gerangan yang tiada bernama.
* spoken&willspeakagain*
7:34 PM
