2ND LAST DAY AT MSS|Tuesday, July 24, 2007
tomr is my last day of teaching experience. or so that is what MOE loves to call it. as cliche as it may sound...time and tide wait for no man. it is horrendously frightening to see where i started off and where i am about to end up in. the past few weeks with this teaching stint, pbm stuffs, charity gala dinner video, etc... have been a hell of a time. plus of course. domestic things. but alhamdulillah. God helped me through the past few weeks and insya'Allah...the upcoming weeks as well. next upcoming would be my charity dinner. pbm appreciation. matriculation fair. welcome tea. and AGM. is that all? i hope so.and then...two men, most important to me, have FORBIDDEN me from taking up anything else.
so possibly next semester, it is about pulling up my steadily increasing CAP and really see if i am THAT intellectually gifted. haha! or...if i really can produce and enjoy learning if i really put my heart and soul to it. but then again, i was thinking of taking up a new CCA. the gamelan ensemble. u know... immerse myself in earthy music. since i do actually have a bit of background in it. and of course. have more time for myself. and him. and my family. and possibly take up one or two more tuition to increase my monthly income a bit. okay. now that i have listed down the things i would like to do next sem, i can see no difference. hmmm.that aside...
i think i am up for teaching. teaching as a part of my life. teaching as the other breaths that i should breathe. teaching as the other portion of love that i need to keep myself sane and happy. my 3 and a half weeks here in a secondary school have made me thought through life a lot. especially in the field of how i would like to spend the rest of my after-NUS life. besides the settling down and getting married part, i think i do want to do something i like. and all in all, make it a part of me. a part of my life. something that i would like to exist in this world for. i didnt realize this until nidzam pointed out to me. that MAYBE, i may be better off being a secondary sch teacher. being a secondary school teacher differs greatly from a primary school one, i think. i know that this is not a good basis of comparison but i think my experience from teaching my 10-kid mendaki class math...and my sec 1 and 2 normal academic students literature and geography...demand different qualities altogether.
*and yeah. he said i can probably teach pre-school because i am childish. thanks eh. dgr orang2 kat luar sane...i am childish. i do not think you guys believe it though. haha!!*ANYWAY...for my primary school kids, they will listen to you. they can get scared of you. and they will sit and keep quiet if you ask them too. very much.. primary school kids can be tamed. this is behaviour-wise ah. but in terms of content or subject teaching...you need to teach them well. you need to TEACH and GUIDE and EXPLAIN to them step by step. and THAT..can be a challenge. especially when you are lazy with details...like me. but i think that can be harnessed with practice. :)
my approach to my secondary school kids are definitely different. especially with my lit classes. secondary school kids are VERY BLATANT. if they are BORED. they will SHOW you that they are BORED. if they are NOT interested, they don't care and will SHOW you that they do not give a damn. i realize that...sometimes after teaching, i mulled over what happened in class. how come the kids at the back just kept on talking? why is it that my students do not prepare for lessons...though all they need to do is to just...read the short story before they come to class? so at times, as teachers, we tend to get disappointed when our lessons plans and pre-class intentions are not REALIZED. when they look at you in a daze and all. i was sharing this with my VP and she said that teachers are individuals with passion. they want to make changes. they want to be a positive affect and impact on the lives of their students. and at times, situations like this...happen. and sometimes, we tend to get emotionally affected.
i admit. i felt like shit after one class. because the kids were not prepared and all. so after doing mundane stuff, i sat on the table. and just talked to the class. but i had to think on my feet and make sure that whatever i was talking about is RELATED to the play that i had to teach them on. so at least...they are learning without realizing that what we were all discussing about is related to the intended lesson. and well. i felt happy. after my mentor feedbacked to me that the students enjoyed and understood my lesson. :) oh well. so there are ups and downs within the life of a teacher. what can keep you moving and staying in the profession are really... the students. the students know you are SOMEONE to them. so just give it your best shot. it is heartening to see them smile at you. though they can be morons. and also...we need a good social support system. both from good colleagues and family members and loved ones. my parents...i do not think they understand the hecticness of my life currently, but i guess...they need some time to understand.
and for my beloved...i am really thankful to have you around. I thank God for making our paths crossed. Even though sometimes we meet up for just quick lunches. u send me home. i send you home. i think a lot were shared. *smiles* thanks dear... (irritating bugger.moron.idiot) hehe!
* spoken&willspeakagain*
9:32 AM
